Back from paradise – Part 2

Back from paradise - Part 2

Of course, is primarily about hot Asian babes and disturbing Yellow Fever stories. Regardless, there was a little more to my Philippines visit than just tottie from heaven. Welcome to the 2nd part of back from you find Part 1 – Though I arrived in Manila with a major delay, as soon as I stepped out of that airplane, my mood swung to the positive. After all, who doesn’t appreciate it, when even the female officer at immigration turns out to be fairly attractive. Maybe I had my Asian goggles on again…

Just so you know – this article is long! So, here are some quick links to cut to the crap. Also, this is not your typical in-depth travel guide. If anything, it’s quite the opposite, so you’ve been warned.

Nighttime = P Burgos

So, it was already in the evening… Time for some P Burgos action and plenty of hello sir! With the hotel right at the corner, it was only a short walk to experience some filth. Burgos is actually a district in Manila, but also hosts the red light district, a relatively short street called P Burgos. I’ve only managed to get down there once, but it generally appears as if the bars don’t host the same quality of girls, such as in Café Havana for instance, which is located at the Greenbelt mall. However, don’t take my word for it, as I didn’t venture into the hardcore kind of places.

Now is she one or is she not?

Even though I was tempted to have a peek into one of them bars, especially when there is like four girls shoving each other while throwing flirtatious remarks at you, I didn’t. Anyway, I felt like grabbing a beer first – in some sort of a controlled environment, so I ended up at a more mainstream bar, where I sat next to some Filipina girl.

God, was she drunk! I was thinking, if she’s a hostess, then what the hell is she getting up to?

We got talking once I managed to find her tiny nose piercing that she dropped on the floor before. When she was bending over looking for it, the other people feared she was going to throw up. She wanted me to get the piercing back in the hole, so I gave it a go, but by the tears bursting out of her eyes, I could tell it wasn’t exactly pleasant. Even the bar dude tried – to no success. In the end she somehow managed to do it herself and started giving me her life story…

Apparently she had just split up with her Aussie boyfriend, who was cheating on her and all sorts of shit. Basically, she was a right mess, sobbing and drinking as if there was no tomorrow. I tried comforting her by making remarks such as what an asshole he must be (but well, did she really expect him to behave otherwise?). It turned out, the dude was actually the owner of the bar… Whooops… Anyway, after a few drinks and a little more drama, she would tell me that she wants to come to my place, but that I couldn’t touch her. After all, she doesn’t even live in Manila, so she said. Aehhmmm, alright, nothing wrong with letting the gentleman take over in this situation and it wasn’t even about the cannot touch remark – but this was just too weird as a whole. I wasn’t too sure anymore, if she is a hostess or not. In the end and after a few more desperate tears I had to get the hell out of there. Who knows how that would have turned out. Maybe she would have finally been sick all over the sheets or maybe it could have turned out quite a wild ride.

Now, I wish I would have gone with the unknown, as I managed to get myself into another little mess soon after. After a few more drinks I was on the way home, when I got talking to a girls combo. I admit they weren’t exactly the prettiest, but I thought, well hey, maybe they really understand how to execute what they’re advertising. So far so good, we agreed on 3.000 Pesos. After the embarrassing guest signing-in at the hotel and not going into details here, we went right ahead. During the course of the night the price had increased by another 1.000 Pesos, then thinking, fair enough, it’s two girls after all.

Hell broke loose the next morning…

…and probably right so, because they are exactly the kind of girls you don’t want to end up with. The next morning both hookers seemed as if they were glued to the bed, basically not wanting to leave – then came the stories. All of the sudden there was an issue with having been at it pretty much all night. Even more hilarious was the comment, that I am a sadist. Not even sure, but is pulling a hookers’ hair considered sadistic? 😉 One way or another it got them all creative with the pricing that had gone up by yet another 1.000 Pesos. After calmly conveying to them that they are obviously taking the piss, I started to get a little agitated. When they threatened me to call the police I responded:

‘Sure, let’s call the police then. Even better, let’s call that manager of yours, insisting on 5.000 Pesos that we didn’t even agree on’.

Shit, was I gutted. It’s 7 or 9 in the morning, I have a hangover and now I need to get dressed and get out in the street to meet up with that witch of a pimp. Keeping my composure, I gave her the true story, while the other two birds continued bitching in the background (all along the lines, that once again I am a sadist and so forth). ‘Mhhh, ohhh, you were pulling their hair’, was the pimps’ response and that calling the police was just going to get me in trouble. After a while I couldn’t be fucked anymore and gave in. Luckily, there was a cash point round the corner, so I could take out them lousy extra 1.000 Pesos (approx. £13 / 23$ / 16€). Of course, I had plenty of money in the hotel room safe, but I felt that getting that out would have obviously been even more risky. I couldn’t help it, but send them bitches on their way with the sarcastic remark: ‘You want me to call you a taxi now as well?’. They happily declined… On the way back I thought the guys at the hotel were going to give me a hard time too, since they were observing closely (surely didn’t help making it less awkward). Instead they gave me the whole:

‘Of course, you should never go with girls like that, they’re baaaad, but if you want good ones……’

Alright, time for a break from all this messing about!

Another mate of mine (a girl) would arrive in Manila that same evening. A good excuse to restrain myself from getting into shit, such as with the RIP OFF Burgos girls. But before she would arrive late that evening, I would take a ride to Greenbelt. Yeah, you guess it, I couldn’t help myself, but to pay Café Havana a visit for old times sake.

Cafe Havana, Green Belt, Manila

Say hello to Café Havana. On weekends, it can get real frisky here with some quality Asian stunners.

Basically I was killing time in style, having a few drinks, checking out some old dudes dancing with their twenty somethings and finally matching up with a girl myself, just for a jiggle though, as I had to return to the hotel to pick up my mate for a few drinks. So that night I actually made sure, I wouldn’t fuck up again (even though we ended up in P Burgos again).

Mission ‘getting to the Pagsanjan Falls’

Getting around the Philippines isn’t always easy, at least when it comes to leaving or arriving somewhere in time. We found that out, when embarking on a 2.5 hours trip would end up taking approximately 6 hours. Basically, the bus was crawling along the road all the way to the Pagsanjan Falls area. On top of that, the air-con started to mess with me, but I couldn’t complain, since some of the locals were literally standing up for the whole duration of the trip. Having arrived in a random, but cosy looking town with no pre-booked hotel and the sun already having set, my vigilance sensors fired up again. Just like in Kuala Lumpur, I wanted to make sure, not to run into the next mishap – here you find more on that story. However, the longer we stayed in some place and eventually wherever we happened to go in the Philippines, that restless feeling would be replaced with absolute comfort. Never did it actually feel as if there was a threat of any kind, so it’s easy to say, that the Philippines really are enormously easy going.

Kids in the water near Pagsanjan Falls, Philippines

Wherever you turn, people are usually very friendly and helpful.

Another false piece of information in regards to the Pagsanjan Falls is, that people will keep harassing you for tips. Yeah sure, some will ask for a tip here and there, but it is nowhere near as obtrusive as some people on the web claim it to be. One dude wanted to exchange his flip flops with mine, since they are original Havaianas.

Pagsanjan Falls boat ride

The boat dudes carry their canoes along the rocky parts of the ride. In fact the water barely is deeper than one metre.

Batangas City and Puerto Galera

Time to speed things up, since my one-night-stay in Batangas and a few days in Puerto Galera were relaxing, but not that eventful. I have to say though, Batangas City is a pretty daunting place with nothing much to do. By pure accident we managed to find a karaoke bar that is open 24/7 and serves surprisingly good food. When I asked, why they are open round the clock, it’s because of the service ladies coming in for food in the early morning hours. Well, I didn’t wait to see that spectacle. From Batangas you take the ferry to Puerto Galera, which is an 1 hour ride. In regards to Puerto Galera, two areas come to mind, Sabang and White Beach. Sabang is not only recommended for Scuba Diving, but partying too. I didn’t have a chance to check it out, but it appears to be your stereotypical experience of fat dudes with young babes and Go Go Bars at every corner. White Beach is quite the contrary, basically a chill out place with quite a few lady boys bouncing about. Therefore, don’t expect too much from the bars and restaurant type of places in White Beach.

Puerto Galera, White Beach, Philippines

Puerto Galera, White Beach – the tranquil part of the island. If you want diving and the dirty action, you’re better off to Sabang.

Oh yes… and better avoid the beach during the lunchtime hours, since the sun will be at its strongest, which I painfully found out.

Hanging out at the beach for 6 hours drinking Red Horse will get you microwaved to shit!

The day after it even turned into an allergic reaction with parts of my face morphing into alien like shapes. At first, one side of my face swelled up, the next morning one eye was covered by slabs of swollen skin. Of course, am adding some drama here, but you can believe me, like this I would not have pulled any chick. Luckily the swelling went down to controllable levels just before heading off to Boracay.

Boracay – ‘Paraiso’ and a mind blast

As you may guess, Paraiso is the Tagalog word for paradise. It’s surely a term that everyone interprets differently. In many cases I find its use overrated, but when it comes to Boracay and my impression of it, paradise suits it just right! Great beaches, great food (cheap too), pumping parties and girls, girls, girls and more damn girls (at times also cheap)! Wherever you look, during the day and night you cannot help, but be in a constant state of hornyness. Thinking, I would get used to the display of hot birds showing up all over the place, I was clearly mistaken – I just wanted to have them all!

I went to Boracay with another mate and entering paradise would prove to be a major task. As I’ve been told, flight delays are somewhat becoming the norm in the Philippines. For us that meant we were already delayed by three hours (we took Cebu Pacific). On top of that, we were transferred to another airport (Kalibo), which meant we had to get on another 2 hours bus ride. To put it into perspective, the actual ferry ride to Boracay only takes around 10 minutes with the local airport being just a few steps away.

Let’s bring on Boracay Station 1…

…and get straight to the point: As it was high season, I was expecting the place to be swamped by western tourists – but far from it. If anything, you get more Filipino tourists and shit loads of Koreans, a type of Asian, that currently isn’t going down too well with me, but more on that later. You also get lots of Filipina Hotties from all over, that specifically come to Boracay for work – you know what that means.

It’s really easy getting around the island, at least that was the case in the White Beach area where we stayed. There you find Station 1, 2 and 3 – Boracay districts, so to speak. Station 3 is the quietest and as I found out too late, Station 1 is where the party really happens with one club that will have every Yellow Fever addict collapse on the spot – Cocomangas Shooter Bar, where you earn black board points for your country after an ordeal of drinking numerous shooters. Not advised, if you can’t handle your liquor or in fact want to rave along with some of the mind boggling stunners on the dance floor. Various websites describe Cocomangas Shooter Bar as a normal bar. Well, maybe it is, but also this is where the elite of Boracay service babes get together. Needless to say, the girls you’ll spot in there will have you running for your eyeballs – yes, they will keep popping out!

Two other cool places are Club Paraw, also in Station 1 and Club Summer Place in Station 2, where I’ve partied like an animal on rabies. Among other styles, the techno in there is pumping like I haven’t heard it in too many other places before. No kidding, but we were the kings of the dance floor – or maybe just an embarrassing attraction! Whatever it was, it’s a pure mind blow with Yellow Fever sweating out of every pore. When reading various stories on the web, I really wonder how some people manage to get themselves into all sorts of trouble, for example with the hostess girls. In fact, I found the people to be incredibly approachable and friendly, also generally speaking. During one hot and drunken rave session, one of my flip flops popped. So I guessed, this would be it for the night, because you won’t risk sliding across the dance floor barefoot. Some Filipino dude sitting down close by just went ‘what’s up?’, grabbed my sweaty flip flop and BANG, fixed it swiftly. What a HERO! Straight after I would be raping the dance floor again. It really is them details, that add to the positive overall experience. If you were to ask, how I did find the Station 1 places, it was once again down to friendly, random locals. I met two of them by pure chance and they simply wanted to show me a good time – no strings attached.

Out in Boracay we were clearly living the vampire life. Whenever we did manage to make it out into the daylight, the events just repeated themselves:

Food, girls, beautiful scenery and party. Too bland and unethical for some, paradise for others!

Early starters also have plenty of opportunity to get active though. From jet ski to island tours, there is something in it for everyone. So maybe you wouldn’t want to get so wasted, as you may not see or remember your girl leaving in the morning.

Boracay hooker note in the morning

This is class! At least she left a note for me once I woke up from my ‘Tanduay’ infused coma.

What is it with the Korean birds? Worse than some Western chicks

Admittedly, the following detail was more of an amusing nuisance, but seriously, what is it with some Korean birds? I am not even talking about the couples wearing exactly the same clothes to show off their bond. I am talking them arrogant princesses – sure: Very pretty and some of them stomping along the beach in stilettos, but simply unapproachable. On another night out I spotted a hot girl across the club dressed in red. When I went to get another triple Tanduay Coke (I love that stuff), our ways crossed and she gave me this proper dirty look – in a negative sense, or at least so I thought. I stormed to the bar thinking ‘Christ, another one of them crazy Koreans’. Good thing, that my rum soaked mind was mistaken, as in fact her look meant to say ‘I just want you to fuck me’. The verbal version followed soon after. Now seriously, does it get any better than that? Alright, here’s the spoiler. Of course, she wasn’t Korean, but a wild Filipina.

Boracay seafood

Sure, this doesn’t really fit here, but the seafood was superb!

Filipinas VS Western Chicks

Now that I cleared the bill with the Korean princesses, I can’t stop, but have a go at the Western chicks too. In a multi-facetted paradise like Boracay, one thing that really didn’t catch my attention, was some overweight blonde chick walking down the strip with her nose high up. And if they were kinda hot, it must have been some east block princesses instead. Then it just struck me:

‘Do you see what is going on round here? There is no way I could survive visiting a place like this with a girlfriend attachment’.

Even the airport staff are a right flirt!

Since putting this article together, I’ve been over to Asia one more time already. So it’s about time to wrap up this story! It’s back to Manila and as I’ve mentioned in Part 1, when it came to jetting back to the homeland, I almost didn’t make it out of Manila (Recap: After a heavy night out, I overslept and therefore missed my flight from KL to Manila resulting in the airline cancelling all remaining flights). In addition, it didn’t exactly make things easier, that the birds at the airport check-in were a right flirt.

When things looked like I wasn’t going to get any seat on my return flight, they gave me some airline office number in Manila that I should call to inquire further. After reiterating, what exactly I should do and which number to ring, one girl responded: ‘What, you mean her number’ – pointing at her colleague with a big smile. I was like: ‘Sure thing, if I don’t make it out of here, let’s grab dinner together’. By that time I really didn’t want to leave anymore, but they pulled all sorts of strings and somehow managed to get me a seat on the correct flight. Since I was extremely late, still having to get through immigration (a different kind of beast) with 20 minutes to go, I was bound to miss my flight yet again. The queue was nothing less than a 40 minute wait, easily. Apart from the fact, that this section of the airport equals a sauna, the staff didn’t want to understand that I am beyond super late. What happened next, was another Filipino in the queue giving a helping hand. So in the end the last passenger, which was obviously me, could finally come on board. Therefore, I can only say this again: The Filipino peoples’ helpfulness is simply unparalleled.

KL airport fuck up

It didn’t stop here! Stuck at KL airport for another 3 to 4 hours.

Sulking over leaving paradise once over, all you want really, is to get home with no more major delays. But it didn’t stop here. Once I arrived at my connecting flight destination in Kuala Lumpur, both trains that connect the terminals had broken down and the airport staff was basically unable to control the masses of people loosing it, started shoving, panicking and shit like that. Of course, the airplanes weren’t going to leave anyone behind – the whole airport had broken down with jeeps and other random vehicles in use, picking up people to get them across the airport field to the other terminal. Now that was original.

Right, this is where the story (has to) stop – otherwise it’ll never find an ending. On a side note: We have compiled a short list of recommended Clubs in Manila you should pay a visit, when it town.

So long… Best, Frank W.

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