If ever someone advised you not to give too much of yourself away when meeting someone new, then they were probably right. It definitely goes for this story, when I had my identity hijacked by a hot, but eventually insane Filipina. I guess, no one would dare ask where the nightmare unfolded? Of course, it happened on the ever so popular Facebook, the epitome for check it out am taking a crap social media – for some the ‘way of life’ – it certainly doesn’t rock my boat.

Yes Yellow Fever victims, yellowfeverhots.com is on Facebook too (not that there has been much action – YET). So, we go with the flow / kiss the ass of modern social interactions. There is no denying though, that it gives people too much opportunity to stir up nonsense shit. As a matter of fact it gave birth to this story. On another note, I am well overdue writing this up (yet writing anything at all), but I can assure you that this site will never go down unless I find a woman that is EITHER not Asian and manages to beat the Asian Yellow Fever crap out of me, or even if she is, one that is going to cure me otherwise. But let’s cut the crap! Mind, this is still going to be a long one…

If you haven’t yet checked out our Travel Journal for the Philippines, then by any means, go ahead. It’s one of them places where I did not only meet one nice girl, but a whole bunch of them. The Facebook story concerns a bird that I almost started to feel a tad too much for after I left this stunning archipelago of 7,107 islands. Talking about rocking ones boat, it would surely rock the wreckage of any Yellow Fever infected individual out there, if I posted a picture of her on here, but for privacy’s’ sake I won’t, even though after what happened she deserves a good online spanking. Going forward, maybe I’ll do it anyway, but then covering the odd detail – not the good bits of course… Well, in the end I went ahead with it – see below.

Asian bird on the ride – quite some shot (no filth I know). I didn’t take it either, but wonder who did – maybe another punter.

Seek and Destroy – sudden attack of a Filipina stunner…

…her shiny, straight and ass-long brunette hair was all over the place, her perky ass (once again) bouncing left and right, the whole thing wrapped in a pharmacists’ uniform. It felt like the setup for a filthy fairy tail. You simply couldn’t help, but stare at what was being put on display in front of your tearing eyes. So yeah, I thought she was pretty hot, certainly at the malls’ pharmacy where she is probably still working to this day. I couldn’t help, but to go after her. Otherwise I would have endured another Yellow Fever episode (or as I like to call it – a heart attack), kicking myself for days to come. After following her into the pharmacy I recollect myself trying to chat her up in a fairly awkward way, then with no success – so I thought… I returned to my mates, with whom I was hanging out, in a somewhat mentally demolished state. Soon after though she would turn up again, dishing out her cell number. I’ve got to admit, it felt exhilarating, not only because I got her number, but because of her direct approach. No fluffing about, I could just smell the raunchiness in the air.

Couple of days later we would meet again at the so called ‘Mall of Asia’ in the Pasay City district. Don’t ask me for directions, but if I remember right, it’s close to the ‘Lax Club’, which gets a brief mention in the Phillipines Travel Journal article. What happened then is one of them little classics I won’t forget… While in the area, obviously looking out for her, I decided to ask one of the guards on patrol for directions. When talking guards, I mean a dude with an automatic or at least a pump gun… (just like in front of banks – something for the lobby to delve in). Yet he was extremely friendly and when he was about to help me out, my Filipina Hottie turned up in her ridiculously tight and camel toe prone jeans. I recall, looking at the guards face, he wasn’t any less impressed. So here we go, I was on cloud 9, drinking and chatting away, but let’s fast forward a little, before this gets all too pussy like (the drinks am having while forcing myself into memory lane are slowing me down too)… Never mind, so, we decided to hit the road and I did everything to convince here to have another drink.

Just to give you an idea.

I ejected myself into yet another dodgy Manila joint

Just to be clear about this, she was no weirdo back then, she was no escort either, so I really wanted to score. I let my charms do the talking and finally we ended up going to her place, which was one of them mental blocks of flats. Seriously, any movie director wanting to produce another Apocalyptic Flick, should seek out this place. Basically it’s one of them high risers where you could get lost inside. We even managed to do our Red Horse (their top beverage) shopping on god knows what floor. Any Phillipines riddled Yellow Fever victim will know, Red Horse is probably their greatest brew. So we got into her flat and mind, it was quite spacious, yet super simple of course. Wonder how much it would cost renting there. Anyway, in my drunken state I felt a sense of comfort and even when I realised, that she wasn’t up for mingling with my flesh, I felt easy, simply because she trusted me being in her place (a Yellow Fever riddled individual – but dammit, with manners).

Believe it or not, but the beers took over and I didn’t even feel like trying it on, so I just asked, if I could stay on the couch for the night. After all, I was god knows where and not the most sober Westerner in the area either. After a while of friendly debating I gave up. In a mellow, yet almost butterfly(y) state I decided to hit the road. She was desperate to call me a cab – after all she didn’t want me to walk down that dark alley by myself. Well, she must know, there is a whole lot of dodgy shit going on in the area. Feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t manage to come to terms with her, I went ahead anyway. Let’s make this even more ridiculous – we didn’t even kiss properly. It didn’t take me long to realise I was in some other kind of red light(ish) district. So I remember taking the first taxi and ejecting myself straight out again when I saw a group of birds coming out of ‘some’ club. Pretty much the same moment, my Hottie called me on my mobile! That was quite an awkward moment considering the background noises. She knew I was off to some raunchy place, yet I had no idea where I was. I did actually end up in a dark weirdo place where all the locals would stare at you the moment you walked in. Confidently I bounced towards the bar and had a swifty. Then I decided, it probably was the right time to get back to the hotel. By the way, when I say dodgy Manila joints, I don’t mean the ones where fat desperate tourists hang out (maybe that’ll be my future fate). Then I was still in a local joint, which, mind you, doesn’t make it any safer and it’s not something I would recommend exactly. Then again, when you’re in the mood…

Leaving Manila, sad sad…

As you can imagine, the main story only really begins here (yes, it’s been too long already). So here you go, have another pic, before we kick off…

Well, whatever. Oh, and she wasn’t under age…

Basically, me and that Filippina Hottie never lost contact in the next 2 years after visiting the Phillipines, but she was starting to get more and more controlling in a weird way. Once I was away on a 50:50 work / pleasure trip and she would call in the morning interrogating me down to the ever so slightest detail, as to what I’ve been up to. Then it didn’t matter really as it obviously was great for the ego and a good story to tell. Well, of course, I know the difference as well – perhaps all she was trying to do was get out of Manila or maybe she was just madly in love. Either way, I wasn’t too bothered and felt that if I made it back to ‘paradise’ I would claim what I felt was mine.

“Oh look, you’re on Facebook”

Let’s fasten forward once more. It was in 2011 when I innocently have been told by a colleague: “Oh look, you’re on Facebook”, when I knew I wasn’t. I didn’t like that one bit! And for real, there was a profile set up in my name, with a few ‘friends’ of mine. The picture was a specific one I remember having sent her back in the day. Dumb ass me! At least it made it easy to tell that it was her behind all this. Now, how the hell can someone even go that far? First thing that baffled me after seeing myself on Facebook was, that a few contacts of mine were already added to my… well,…. her profile. Basically the sneaky Filipina used exactly the same email address she knew of me, but with a different provider ending – it’s that easy, potentially! So, instead of hotmail.com she used yahoo.com. And for her it worked!! Contacts that BACK IN THE STONE AGES would send me the first waves of Facebook friend requests (which I never followed up), would all of the sudden become activated and sent friend requests back. Obviously everyone said YES as my bloody picture was on the profile too. How the fuck is it possible to do shit like that on Facebook? Sort your act out! It ain’t the same damn email address where I have been receiving my initial friend requests!

“What’s this shit all about?!” I went right into combat mode.

“What’s this shit all about?!” I went right into combat mode. Obviously I had to do something about it and was requiered to set up another stupid account in order to make some mates of mine verify that this was me – at the same time vilifying that pretty bitch as a fake Facebook profiler. And hey – on the fake profile she was on there as my friend too – can you believe that?! After hours of stress (back then I was with a girl) and organising the counter attack, it seems that within a few hours the issue was resolved. Well, you cannot trust any of this, but at least it appeared as if her profile of mine wasn’t accessible anymore. As a matter of fact, months on the whole story would in one way or another bite me right in the ass again, but that’s another story that I may tell on another occasion. And that’s it! I admit it’s a bit of an abrupt ending… Of course, I was never in touch with her again.